Life can destroy even the best laid plans. Two weeks ago I was on top of everything. Goals laid out. Work was in a good place my writing was flowing. I had started to set aside time for growing my platform while still being a good stay at home mom.
Then my kids asked for chicken for dinner and there wasn’t enough for three so I decided to just make myself a pork chop. Now to say I’m a bad cook would be accurate but not the full story. I know how to make 5-6 basic meals and follow cooking instructions but whenever I stray from a recipe or think I can do it myself drama follows.
Usually this ends in smoke or awful flavors that can not be consumed. This time it meant I ended up with food poisoning from under-cooked meat that was hidden under BBQ sauce. I was barely functional for three days falling behind on everything while I was miserable. I was panicked trying to catch up on all my work for my job and I worked three 12-hour days by the following Sunday I was still not caught up on my job and nothing had been done towards my writing goals so I started stressing. I also hadn’t spent time with my kids, ate like crap, the house fell into shambles. I spent the day with the kids and cleaned but the stress had me waking up with bad dreams.
A major deadline for my job was coming up and I ended up working 62 hours in five days. I was going to use this weekend to catch up all my goals I woke up at 5:30 am yesterday from a stress dream and tried to start writing. By 8 am I had less than 500 words written and a Migraine came up and beat me over the head.
During my time in the dark yesterday I realized that I needed to hit the reset button. Instead of punishing myself with stress and worry about catching up, I needed to just move forward and remember that my goals are there to give me something to strive for not something to punish myself with. I’m going to just start fresh today and keep moving forward. Instead of trying for 12,000 words to catch up I’m just going to wipe the slate clean and work as if I had achieved my goals last week.
Forgiving myself for failure is not something I’m good at but if I’m going to succeed in the long term I need to accept the bad right along with the good.